 |  | | | |  | |  |  | A christmas story... |  | |  |  | |
 Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 7:43 am |
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| Veteran Member |
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| Joined: 21 Sep 2007 |
| Posts: 428 |
| Location: Victoria, BC |
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A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not
produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which
stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were
out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards
cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were
scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a
shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves
had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration,
he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of
little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the
broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the
broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door,
yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a
lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me
to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree. |
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| Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:05 am |
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| fritz |
| Silver Status Member |
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| Joined: 25 Nov 2008 |
| Posts: 2444 |
| Location: New Jersey- outside of Philadelphia |
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*cough*old*cough*
still funny. |
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_________________
"I never set out to be wierd, it was always everyone else who called me it" -Frank Zappa
Speed is impressive, accuracy is deadly.
It's not that I'm not a people person, it's just that I'm not a stupid people person. |
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| Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2008 1:05 am |
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| Slavia |
| Moderator |
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| Joined: 31 Mar 2008 |
| Posts: 4382 |
| Location: Waseca, Minnesota, USA |
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Santa comes down the chimney and finds a girl waiting for him, dressed in a slinky nightgown. She says, "Oh Santa, can't you stay for a while?" Santa says, "Ho ho ho, gotta go. Have to take toys to the kids, you know."
She drops a strap off her shoulder, and repeats the invitation. Santa says, "Ho ho ho, gotta go. Have to take toys to the kids, you know."
Then the nightgown comes off completely, and she says, "Come on, Santa. Just for a little while."
"Hey, hey hey, gotta stay. Can't get up the chimney with my thing this way." |
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_________________
 ¡Listo! ¡Apunte! ¡Fuego! |
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| Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2008 2:34 am |
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| AirGunEric |
| Site Admin |
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| Joined: 20 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 6930 |
| Location: "Out There" |
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| Slavia wrote: |
| "Hey, hey hey, gotta stay. Can't get up the chimney with my thing this way." |
WTF? Was that Fat Albert dressed up as Santa or something?  |
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| | | | | | | | | A christmas story... | | | | | |
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